Gay Weddings

Image © iStockphoto/ericsphotography

In the West we pride ourselves on our tolerance and support for individual choice, yet even in the 21st century the subject of gay marriage - male or female - is a highly divisive one. Most of the problems are related to long standing cultural prejudice and/or religious issues. If marriage is seen as fundamentally religious in nature and the religion concerned diapproves of homosexuality then gay weddings are hardly likely to be welcomed. As a result same-sex marriage remains unrecognised by law in many countries and regions.

Other countries are more liberal. Some countries such as The Netherlands now fully recognise gay marriage, others such as the UK have introduced civil partnerships or unions that convey many of the same legal rights as marriage.

History

Although the growing acceptance of same sex unions is a step forward, it comes only after a large step backwards. Many ancient societies had some form of officially recognised same-sex union - although there is debate about how closely these approximated our modern concept of marriage. Some believe they were closer to master & companion or teacher & student.

Male gay relationships were commonplace in ancient Greece. In Rome a number of emperors reportedly wed other men although these marriages were not formally recognised by law. But who would argue with the emperor?

Some Native American tribes also recognised a form of gay male marriage. In this instance a member of the tribe would embrace the traditionally feminine side of life. They were known as Two-Spirit men and could become the "wife" of another man.

In general the acceptance of gay marriage seems inversely related to the power of Christianity.

What Is A Gay Wedding?

A wedding is essentially two people expressing their love and life-long commitment to each other. That's completely unaffected by the gender of those involved or by whether or not society officially calls it a marriage.

Many people assume that a gay wedding must be outrageously camp and a riot of pink feathers or black leather. That can sometimes be true - the gay community certainly seems to know how to throw a good party! However a gay wedding is frequently little different to a straight one except for the absence of religion. Planning a good wedding is just as exciting - and stressful - for a gay couple as for any other. If you wish you can buy a dedicated gay wedding planner to assist in the process.

Unfortunately prejudice is still common, so a gay-friendly venue is a must, both for the wedding and the reception. If guests are travelling from out of town then it might be a good idea to research the attitudes of some of the local hotels. It's also probably worth ensuring that the caterers, photographer etc are also aware of the nature of the event they'll be covering. And, of course, you want to take special care to ensure that the honeymoon destination is appropriate.

The heart of any wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows. Gay wedding vows are unlikely to follow the "standard" pattern. This can be an advantage as writing your own vows can be a very deep and rewarding process for any couple.

Perhaps one of the most important differences is likely to be the decorations. For instance the wedding cake is more likely to be adorned with two male or two female figures! Today you can buy gay themed wedding accessories either from specialist vendors or more general stores. All sorts of stuff is available from cards and invitations to cake toppers and even rings (bands).